The Angst of Being Alone

Tonight
I'll try
To trust that God's plan is better than mine
It chills
My bones
It's the angst of being alone

All I want is you here in my arms
Is that too much to ask?
To hold your hand while your smile warms
My heart from my cold past

But there's a danger here that I forget
That joy in God is what I must find
And I don't even know you yet
But I can't get you off of my mind

Tonight
I'll try
To trust that God's plan is better than mine
It chills
My bones
It's the angst of being alone

I'm sure that Screwtape wrote a letter
That my thoughts should be about you
That devil's trying to get the better
Of my willing heart that's torn in two

I know my Lord is the one who saves
But I feel like you can save me
The motive of my heart betrays
This isn't called love - it's called greed

Tonight
I'll try
To trust that God's plan is better than mine
It chills
My bones
It's the angst of being alone

I learning how I will know that it is you
You're  awesome - yet somehow you still match with me too
Not a magical tale of romantic quests
Just the future that God knows is best

I wonder whether I will meet
You serving Jesus in these streets
Or could it be that I will find you, girl,
On the other side of the world?

Do I have the courage?
To fight these doubts for you?
Voyage across the world for you?
To be alone every night until I finally find you?

Or will I start to dare
To settle for someone second-best?

I fight a fear that I will never find you
That I will compromise instead of holding true
There's no magical system where we all find soul mates
And I'm not entitled to be with you by fate

I know that God alone is the one who fills this hole
Why do I not want to make knowing Him my goal?
Wish I had you here to explain my soul to you
Yet God is the one my soul keeps talking to:

Do I have the courage?
To fight these doubts for You?
Voyage across the world for You?
To be alone every night until I finally find You?

Or will I start to dare
To settle for someone second-best?

Tonight
I'll try
To trust that God's plan is better than mine
It chills
My bones
It's the angst of being alone