The Song in My Head

I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head. Funerals are like celebrations - celebrating the person’s life.

I remember my cousin explaining the funeral his daughters. He mentioned that people will be coming, and saying they’re sorry that Grandma is in heaven. There was some confusion. He corrected: "Not sorry that Grandma is in heaven - sorry that she is no longer with us."

O memory
Which will you haunt me with more?
Thoughts of my childhood
Or those of this past summer
of the people in this town
Left behind.

Like a ship in the waves
Looking for land
I have ropes stationed
For an anchor
for anyone
Ropes undone.

Sometimes trying to meet up with people made me feel like a dog being kicked too many times. But what if I had tried harder? What if I had accomplished the goals that I had set for myself back in April? What if I had got Tuesdays off to help out with the youth group? I would be a different person in a different world. But that’s not where the log lies.

I have learned much; I have put little to action. I have received more answers about life in general; I have found more problems in mine. I’ve grown, but so has the mess I call "me."

Jesus, I need Your help.